Introducing the DVR Voice

This is my psychic Walter (his pseudonym is the Amazing Siez [pronounced SIGH-ez], but we're on a first name basis because I go to him so much). This is what he told me the other day.

Eight years from now, it will be 2016. Obama will be at the end of his second term in office, and Miley Cyrus will be completing her 2nd stint in rehab. And eight years from now, I'll probably still be complaining about my petty issues with technology.

Comcast has this new technology called the "DVR Voice." Instead of using the faulty remote to control the DVR, every command is by voice recognition. The vision, itself, seems promising, but the execution of the product fails miserably. It mistakes me saying "rewind 20 seconds" for Be My Sloppy Seconds, a new FOX reality show promoting one night stands and promiscuity (apparently, FOX hits an all-time low in ratings in 2016, and they don't fail to disappoint with this charmer).

Another feature with the DVR Voice is the record aspect. I set my series recording for the 7th season of The Wire, which was brought back in 2014 due to a speech during which President Obama mentions it's his favorite show of all time and wishes it would have lasted more than 5 seasons. And ala the Oprah Effect, a flood of letters were sent to HBO demanding for a revival, and it enters its 7th season in 2016. But because its a show brought back to the TV schedule, the DVR Voice doesn't recognize the difference between seasons and therefore, thinks that every season is new. Before the 7th season premiere, HBO spent an entire week recapping seasons 1-6. So, I end up with all 70 some odd number of episodes on my device. This would be great, if the DVR allowed for more memory, and because it's still a fairly new product, the memory space is very limited. Which meant that on the day of the season premiere, I missed it because the DVR didn't have enough memory.

Through all of this, I'm convinced that the DVR Voice is a POS, and throw it out after about 1 month of use.

Walter also said I would be the 4th richest person in the world (behind Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and Guy Richie), and he said that I would have a cat named Muffin. Which is ridiculous, right? There's just no possible way, ever, not in my wildest dreams...that I would have a cat, let alone name her Muffin. Maybe Walter was having an off-day. It happens.