The Rant Carnival

It's New Year's Eve. The last day of 2008. Now, I'm assuming you're already used to my m.o. these days. I always have something to complain about. My family likens me to Mady from Jon & Kate Plus 8 (If you don't know who she is, I highly suggest you click the link to find out, though the clip doesn't quite do her justice). But I'm not that bad, I swear. It's just, there are some times when I don't like the way something is being done, or how someone isn't listening to me, or how someone looks. Those are legitimate reasons to complain, right?

Considering my narcissitic nature, and my worldview that everything revolves around me, I'm actually going to do something different for a change. I decided to host a blog carnival to let other bloggers (yup, that means other people) pour their hearts out to me regarding things that "grinds their gears." And as it turns out, there is plenty to complain about. And I'm not the only one who does it. Among the many submissions, and I'm talking 15+ in a span of 3 weeks, I chose the best ones:

- Madeleine is wondering Why Caroline Kennedy?
- Phil for Humanity thinks we should have a Less Me, More We attitude.
- Archvillain believes Personal Responsibility is lacking in the world today.
- Conrad thinks these shoes suck in his Rant.
- Evelyn emphatically says I Do Not Approve Of Your Message, Minister. On a side note, she posts a Boyzone Music video in this post. I suggest you take a look.
- Rich has some not so-nice-things to say about the passing of Prop 8 and those who defend it in The Naked Emperor, Pontificating on Fashion.
- Wenchypoo's post title says it all Santa, All I Want for Christmas is a Decent-Sized, Decent-Priced House.
- MBB tells you what jobs are not what they seem in their list of the Most Overrated Careers and Jobs.
- Banquet Manager thinks Holiday Party and Christmas Party are not synonymous in It's Time For The Holiday Parties....
- In the spirit of New Years, Sidhusaaheb rants about Defenceless Victims of Reckless Driving.


There you have it. The largest collection of rants on the Internet. Enjoy. and Happy New Year. Ready for a whole new year of complaints. I can't wait!

btw, my new years resolution is to stop swearing.

Introducing the DVR Voice

This is my psychic Walter (his pseudonym is the Amazing Siez [pronounced SIGH-ez], but we're on a first name basis because I go to him so much). This is what he told me the other day.

Eight years from now, it will be 2016. Obama will be at the end of his second term in office, and Miley Cyrus will be completing her 2nd stint in rehab. And eight years from now, I'll probably still be complaining about my petty issues with technology.

Comcast has this new technology called the "DVR Voice." Instead of using the faulty remote to control the DVR, every command is by voice recognition. The vision, itself, seems promising, but the execution of the product fails miserably. It mistakes me saying "rewind 20 seconds" for Be My Sloppy Seconds, a new FOX reality show promoting one night stands and promiscuity (apparently, FOX hits an all-time low in ratings in 2016, and they don't fail to disappoint with this charmer).

Another feature with the DVR Voice is the record aspect. I set my series recording for the 7th season of The Wire, which was brought back in 2014 due to a speech during which President Obama mentions it's his favorite show of all time and wishes it would have lasted more than 5 seasons. And ala the Oprah Effect, a flood of letters were sent to HBO demanding for a revival, and it enters its 7th season in 2016. But because its a show brought back to the TV schedule, the DVR Voice doesn't recognize the difference between seasons and therefore, thinks that every season is new. Before the 7th season premiere, HBO spent an entire week recapping seasons 1-6. So, I end up with all 70 some odd number of episodes on my device. This would be great, if the DVR allowed for more memory, and because it's still a fairly new product, the memory space is very limited. Which meant that on the day of the season premiere, I missed it because the DVR didn't have enough memory.

Through all of this, I'm convinced that the DVR Voice is a POS, and throw it out after about 1 month of use.

Walter also said I would be the 4th richest person in the world (behind Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and Guy Richie), and he said that I would have a cat named Muffin. Which is ridiculous, right? There's just no possible way, ever, not in my wildest dreams...that I would have a cat, let alone name her Muffin. Maybe Walter was having an off-day. It happens.

If you weren't born in 1984-1989, you probably won't understand this post

I found the most awesome Facebook group ever. It's titled "I HATE when kids suck at putting together the shrine of the silver monkey." If you grew up in the 90's, you know what this is in reference to. Everyone my age, including myself, was obsessed with the Nickelodeon game show Legends of the Hidden Temple. Everyone knew the Blue Barracudas were the best and the Purple Parrots were losers, duh! And Olmec...he was a G, no one f'd with Olmec.

The whole point of the game was to win as many team challenges as you could in the hopes of being the last team standing, which would in turn mean, you get a chance to enter the temple. Should you retrieve the artifact* in one of the rooms in under 3:00 minutes, then you get to go to Space Camp! However, beware of the temple guards because should you get caught without a pendant, you die! (Well, you don't die, but you can't continue, and then it's up to your partner to finish the course).

The temple consisted of 10-12 different rooms that required you to complete some sort of task** to open the door to get to the next room. One of the rooms was called "The Shrine of the Silver Monkey," and all it needed you to do was retrieve three pieces of the silver monnkey on the shelves and put it together. It really wasn't that hard, but some kids truly sucked at it. And that's what this group was about. (tip: read the description in the group, it captures exactly how I felt when the kids couldn't accomplish the simple task).

Oh, how I wish this show was still on. It's amazing. This and GUTS. Oh, and Salute Your Shorts. And Hey Dude! None of this Hannah Montana/Lizzie McGuire crap. It's seriously crap. Our shows were waaayyy better. No competition. I grew up in the 90's, and I'm damn proud of it.

*Artifact as in some made up historical prop that is speculated to exist, but you can tell that it was made out of materials you can buy from Michaels (look up: Ghengis Khan's helmet)

**Tasks could be (but not limited to) the aforementioned assembly of the silver monkey, pressing down tongues on gargoyles to see which one opened the door, spinning a sundial in the observatory, and falling into a deep dark pit and guessing which of the doors would open to get out (temple guards usually hid in here and it was hilarious!)